There are lots of stories that talk about the awesome power of an Invisibility Cloak.
From old myths about King Arthur’s use of an invisible veil…to the Romulan Empire on Star Trek creating a highly advanced cloaking device to conceal their ships…all the way to Harry Potter getting himself and his friends in and out of lots of mischief with his supernatural, shimmering shield. It’s a cool component of story that gives the owner a special privilege and power.
It bums me out to have to say this but here it goes: those type of cool Invisibility Cloaks aren’t real. I know, right? 😢
But another type of Invisibility Cloak does seem to exist in the stories of some Adult Children! It’s the disempowered, don’t want to be seen, don’t draw any attention to myself, way-crappy kind of cloak! Sometimes created by the individual wearer (but many times a genuine hand-me-down passed through the family line), these cloaks are sure to make you miserable! And, by following these 3 simple steps, you too can have that second kind of Invisibility Cloak all to yourself. Lucky you!
Step 1 – Never speak up
Your Higher Power gave you a voice for a reason…but make sure you never use it! Don’t share your opinions, don’t share your feelings, and certainly don’t vocalize any boundaries for yourself – that way people can treat you however they want without your concerns for personal comfort and safety getting in the way. Even when someone specifically asks you for your opinion, keep it vague! Ooooh! And maybe even answer their question without your own question! Make sure to let them know that you’re fine with whatever they want without showing any regard for yourself and your preferences. Show them that you don’t considered yourself an equal and you don’t feel like you have anything of value to share with others. Express how you feel about the holiday plans your family is making? Nope. Speak up when someone is being emotionally abusive? Not happening. Call your congress person about an issue that’s extremely important to you? HA! You may be the biggest polar bear lover south of the Arctic Circle but you definitely can’t verbalize your concerns about global warming and the loss of the polar bear habitat to anyone. Keep the lip zipped, readership!
Step 2 – Never dress to draw attention to yourself
Hide in plain sight by keeping your clothes, hair, make-up, and accessories bland in order to blend in. Bland = Blending in. Got it? Not to be confused with really enjoying wearing a modest wardrobe or feeling your best in an all absence-of-color ensemble, this is about intentionally denying yourself what you’d really like to wear in order to keep others from paying attention to you. I’m talking about skipping over the really beautiful light blue lace dress that you see in a store window and immediately start to drool over. Or passing up the sparkly golden eyeshadow or the cute pink shoes with the little bows on top because you’re so uncomfortable with other people potentially noticing you and maybe even judging you. This is about deliberately dimming down and doing without items that make you happy because you’re uncomfortable with emphasizing yourself here in the world. You’d much rather hang back in the shadow and keep quiet. Bye bye, bow shoes. 🙁
Step 3 – Never leave your comfort zones
Do you love to binge-watch the newest Netflix shows alone at home and never try anything new? You do? GREAT! Because giving yourself new experiences that’ll actually make you grow is a terrible idea when you’re trying to get yourself a real life Invisibility Cloak. You’re free to dream about the fun you could have at the Backstreet Boys reunion concert but you can’t actually go! Feel free to imagine yourself on Anna Maria Island under the shade with a lemonade but DO NOT for any reason let yourself out of your self-created cage to go and really experience it! Stay home and hide, my friend. Stay home and hide. If you want to beef up the bonus points here, make sure you’re not only hiding from others but also hide from you! YES! Don’t check in with yourself about how you’re feeling. Don’t take quiet time to access the status of your own heart. And for the love of all who are invisible, please don’t journal! It’s such a powerful way to get to know yourself. And power and knowledge aren’t going to get you this kind of Invisibility cloak! Put the pen down and back away from the notebook…
Okay. I know this post is slightly silly and is kinda poking fun at this idea of being invisible. But this is a real issue for some people who choose to live like this. I know because I’ve done a lot of this stuff myself. I’ve kept my mouth shut when I shouldn’t have. Soooooooo many times. Like if I had a quarter for every time I’ve not spoken up when I should’ve, I’d be sitting on a pile of gumballs taller than Seattle’s Space Needle. Just saying. 🤷♀️
I’ve worn clothes that were too big and super dull because I wanted to walk through the world like a phantom. I felt like I would burst into a million-zillion pieces of pain and pressurized problems if anyone really looked at me. Sometimes it felt like I’d burst apart if anyone even made eye contact. So I tried to be avoid being seen.
And I’ve sat at my computer looking at fun events coming up in my area or longingly turned pages in a travel magazine thinking of how amazing it would be to do that or go there…only to continue sitting at home with a hefty sack full of excuses and a sour face. And I still struggle with this stuff sometimes.
In case you aren’t aware, I want to let you know: you have a particular perspective, a unique voice, and a specific solution inside of you to a precise problem in this world that no one else in the entire Universe has access to. Do you know that? If you don’t use your voice and let yourself be seen, the world suffers…and you usually don’t end up fairing too well yourself.
And I’m not saying that your opinions matter more than the opinions of others. Vanity isn’t necessarily better than invisibility. But invisibility isn’t the same as humility, either. You can be humble, courteous, and respectful while still claiming your own experience, space, and voice. I pinky promise.
Invisibility Cloaks might be cool tools for the protagonists in make-believe stories. But, until science makes some super stellar advancements, the only kind of invisibility cloak available to you is the one that dims your light all the way down and keeps you quiet. Don’t wear that cloak! And, if you have been wearing that cloak, no matter how long it’s been part of your day-to-day outfit, it’s time to toss it off and live your life! You can do it! Because you deserve to be heard, seen, and free. ❤️
Want to toss off that old invisibility cloak and BURN it?!? 🔥🔥🔥
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