Are you keeping these and staying sick?

Click here to read the introduction to my 12 Step Series and find links to all of my 12 Step posts in one place as they become available. 


Step Five: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.


Secrets. They can seem so innocent and mysterious. Whether we’re talking about cool spies with “TOP SECRET” information or friends who create “secret societies” with passwords and hideouts, secrets in this connotation can be harmless and cute….fun even!

secrets and friends

But little kids playing games or silly secrets being shared between friends aren’t the type of secrets I’m talking about right now. I’m talking about the destructive type of secrets: the ones that fill us with shame and fear and keep us trapped within our dysfunction. I’m talking about the secrets that make us feel like we have to hide, lie, and cover up pieces of our past and ourselves; the secrets that do nothing but cause harm and havoc in our lives. I’m talking about the secrets that keep us sick.

And what better time to talk about secrets that keep us sick than when we talk about Step Five…

(more…)

You seriously need to clean out your refrigerator!

Click here to read the introduction to my 12 Step Series and find links to all of my 12 Step posts in one place as they become available. 


Step Four: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves


Well…that sounds intimidating, doesn’t it? 😨

With words like “fearless” and “searching” and “moral” being tossed around, Step Four can sometimes sound like it’s describing a brave knight in shining armor way more than it’s describing someone like me or you.

knight in shining armor
The brave knight, Sir Al-Anon of Alcoholia, who made a fearless and searching moral inventory

All jokes aside, I know Step Four can sound scary at first but it’s actually very cool. And I’ve got good news for you, friend. If you’ve ever had a refrigerator, you can relate to Step Four. Why? Because Step Four is just cleaning out the fridge. You’ve cleaned out a fridge before, right? If you’ve worked Step 1, Step 2, and Step 3 (and you “get” why you need to clean out your fridge every once in awhile), then you’re completely capable of working this Step. And, when you’re finished, you’re gonna be so glad that you did it!

(more…)

How to get a brand new Compass: My Thoughts on Step Three

Click here to read the introduction to my 12 Step Series and find links to all of my 12 Step posts in one place as they become available. 


Step Three: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.


Step Three in a 12 Step program is where you bravely take your leap of Faith. You agree to give your Higher Power a chance at the reins and then you get to watch your life change. No, it’s not overnight but it can definitely happen. Have you ever felt like you’re seriously lacking some direction in your life? I’ve felt like that a lot. Thank goodness that Step Three is all about getting a brand new compass to help you find your way…

(more…)

Get off the “Crazy Carousel” with the help of a Higher Power: My thoughts on Step Two

Click here to read the introduction to my 12 Step Series and find links to all of my 12 Step posts in one place as they become available. 


Step Two: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves

could restore us to sanity.


Step Two is about believing a Higher Power could be out there (if you don’t already believe it when you come into the program) and that this Higher Power could help you finally get off the “Crazy Carousel” – because do you really want to go another round on that thing? Let me be honest with you: Step Two was strangely hard for me. I had more than one complaint about this Step and I struggled.

(more…)

Rollercoaster of Love

Imagine there is this roller coaster that you have ridden before and you absolutely hate it! It is the scariest, twistiest, loopiest, craziest, whatever. The point is that you cannot stand being on this particular roller coaster. Any time you’ve ever jumped on this thing, you’ve been a complete and utter mess afterwards.

(more…)

Giving up the Fantasy and Living Your Life

Okay, I know how funny it seems for me of all people to suggest that anyone give up anything having to do with “fantasy” seeing as I kinda believe deep down in my core that the Wizarding World could be real and my dream job is to join Starfleet as a Science Officer and spend many years boldly going all over the place…

Fear not, friends. I’m not asking you to give up any of that fantasy deliciousness.  Have fun with that stuff all you want! What I’m talking about are the not-so-fantastic fantasies: the expectations we create and hold onto about what our relationships and our families and our careers and our lives and our bodies are supposed to look like. You know what I’m talking about… (more…)