Posted in 12 Steps, Al-Anon, Step Four

You seriously need to clean out your refrigerator!

Click here to read the introduction to my 12 Step Series and find links to all of my 12 Step posts in one place as they become available. 


Step Four: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves


Well…that sounds intimidating, doesn’t it? 😨

With words like “fearless” and “searching” and “moral” being tossed around, Step Four can sometimes sound like it’s describing a brave knight in shining armor way more than it’s describing someone like me or you.

knight in shining armor
The brave knight, Sir Al-Anon of Alcoholia, who made a fearless and searching moral inventory

All jokes aside, I know Step Four can sound scary at first but it’s actually very cool. And I’ve got good news for you, friend. If you’ve ever had a refrigerator, you can relate to Step Four. Why? Because Step Four is just cleaning out the fridge. You’ve cleaned out a fridge before, right? If you’ve worked Step 1, Step 2, and Step 3 (and you “get” why you need to clean out your fridge every once in awhile), then you’re completely capable of working this Step. And, when you’re finished, you’re gonna be so glad that you did it!

Continue reading “You seriously need to clean out your refrigerator!”

Posted in Al-Anon, Step Two

Get off the “Crazy Carousel” with the help of a Higher Power: My thoughts on Step Two

Click here to read the introduction to my 12 Step Series and find links to all of my 12 Step posts in one place as they become available. 


Step Two: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves

could restore us to sanity.


Step Two is about believing a Higher Power could be out there (if you don’t already believe it when you come into the program) and that this Higher Power could help you finally get off the “Crazy Carousel” – because do you really want to go another round on that thing? Let me be honest with you: Step Two was strangely hard for me. I had more than one complaint about this Step and I struggled.

Continue reading “Get off the “Crazy Carousel” with the help of a Higher Power: My thoughts on Step Two”

Posted in Step One

Finding out I am powerless over Alcohol: My thoughts on Step One

Click here to read the introduction to my 12 Step Series and find links to all of my 12 Step posts in one place as they become available. 


Step One: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol –

that our lives had become unmanageable.


At its core, Step One is about understanding and completely accepting that we cannot control other people. It might sound simple enough in theory but it can be really hard for many of us Adult Children of Alcoholics to allow this truth to settle into our minds and hearts. Continue reading “Finding out I am powerless over Alcohol: My thoughts on Step One”

Posted in 12 Steps, Al-Anon

Succeeding in Recovery: Working the 12 Steps

 

The 12 Steps are the lifeblood of any 12 Step Program – whether it’s Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-Anon, Adult Children of Alcoholics, Narcotics Anonymous, etc. Personally, I see the 12 Steps as a road map to personal healing and relationships – they show you the specific direction to take to get you where you need to go in recovery.

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Posted in Step Nine

Making Amends to my Mom

This is the letter I wrote and read to my mother as part of my Step 9 work. In my opinion, my mother and I have had a very strained and painful relationship for many years. My mother’s alcoholism, drug addiction, codependency, prison sentences, and her personal decision to not work through her own childhood trauma and programming made it difficult for her to parent me. I held on tightly to all of the pain and resentment and anger from my childhood for a long time and I treated her badly because of it.

Continue reading “Making Amends to my Mom”